Sunday, September 30, 2012

Archer's book review: Fifty Shades of Grey

As much as I adore Archer, we don't always agree on things (gasp! I know, right?!).

When I read the Fifty Shades trilogy, I came away with a slightly different opinion of it than he did - though that difference was mostly in the nuances and degrees.

As a work of fiction, I found it intrinsically without value. However, it has extrinsic value as a statement on our (American) popular culture. I don't believe that's a particularly kind statement, by the way. I can't speak for the trilogy's reception in other countries.

That said, I actually enjoyed the read. It's superficial, but enjoyable until you look at it in an analytic light - even if some of that enjoyment comes at the author's expense, or is rooted in a sardonic view of the culture which produced and consumes this drivel.
My primary concern by which I evaluate a work of fiction is in the character development. In these books, I found the characters to be charicaturized versions of the popular views of stereotypical women - and men - which too many suburban wives (to make use of another stereotype) idealize but can't possibly attain - they're just too human, and that gets in the way (thank goodness!). I do see the value in utilizing those popularized versions of people, though, especially in the romance genre. After all, the point of romance novels is not to imitate reality. I think the author actually knew her target audience quite well, and developed her characters in the best possible way for them to be palatable for that audience. So, while I personally didn't find the characters particularly well-developed in their own right, they were perfectly developed for the author's purpose, which was to sell books.
... This post started off as a short little introduction to Archer's review of the "Fifty Shades" trilogy, so I guess I better get back to that.
After reading the trilogy, I begged asked Archer to read the books too, so that we could discuss my ideas about them and the social commentary which inevitably followed their popularity.
The following was his response. I laughed out loud, literally.
~
Fifty Tons of Utter Shit

I slog through this abomination of words, the fifty shades trilogy, and despair. Never have I met so doltish and annoying a protagonist as she.  She trivializes all womanhood with every syllable of her non-existence.  

Her boyfriend is elevated to genius by her moronic perception of his logical deductions as "magical".  At one point Anastasia interprets Grey's moody, multi-tasking, and generally active intellect as possibly afflicted with "multiple personality disorder," and this in a vastly successful businessman.  MPD is a devastating mental condition, crippling in fact, insupportable in any life requiring high function, memory, control, and structured task mastery.  She is supposed to be an "educated" girl.  This little idiot wanders around as a modern day Tartuffe, looking at all in the world as though for the very first time.  The naïveté, portrayed to the point of ridiculousness.  This Grey fellow, far from mysterious, merely appears to be a passably intelligent dude, horny, melodramatic, and somewhat kinky, in a pretty vanilla kind of way as millionaires go.  

The sex scenes in this book are banal to the point of anti-tumescence, the plot is utterly predictable, the premise is profoundly unimportant, the attempted moral rationalization of its hero (all this charity bullshit throughout his busy plutocrats life) is entirely corrupt at its base.  This is a book about banal decadence, about a stupid girl who gets a rich boyfriend, who wraps her arms around opulence, grousing and bitching the whole way, so no one will think her a whore for hitting the jackpot by yanking on the one armed bandit with her uninteresting little cunt.

These "works" are the opposite of literature; they do not ennoble, they debase us.  They make all who read them more stupid by allowing such trashy sentences into their brains.  They are an insult to womankind; they turn sex into a car commercial; they contort love into a horrible game of self-deluding sexist hypocrisy where women crave domination physically, all the while conspiring to crack the masterful spirit of their chosen man, to the point where the mystery and power that initially drew them is revealed, neutered and suborned by the mystical influence of their nasty little holes.

While this little trio of dime novels is quite a dollop of shit to be sure, the inevitable series of movies will drive all art to a new nadir.   While love and sex have been well fucked into whoredom for centuries by commerce and the churches, we will now toss kink, and the works of poor Thomas Hardy into the chemical stink of pop culture.

I predict that those movies will be the rottenest things in human culture.

I predict that their rottenness will drive, by comparison, the Twilight series, up into realms of near-tolerability, feat once thought impossible by all scientists and film critics.

The only benefits of this plague will be the sharp screams and luridly publicized emergency room visits of kink inept suburbanites maiming themselves in hilarious attempts to slavishly ape this latest trend in "sexy". That, laid at the feet of its author, once society turns its fickle, hypocritical back on this dirty little fad, will be her god damned comeuppance.  She will shrink, Shatner-like into a minor self parody, an impossibly wealthy pariah, devoid of talent, to be shoveled onto the reality show dung heap of ex-celebrity. 

-Archer

~

A bit later in the conversation, with more information gathered, Archer had this to add:


Not surprisingly, the Grey trio began its odious life as a fan-fiction afterbirth from the actual Twilight series itself. Ana and Chris actually began their papier-mâché lives as amateur copies of the ridiculous Twilight couple.  Leonard cannot even be credited with originating this monstrosity, she just copied stupid and penned idiocy in the process. Trash begat garbage.

~

Did I mention that Archer can be quite scathing when provoked?

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

thoughts

Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
They hurt me.

I'll go wherever you will go.
Just don't leave me alone.
The darkness creeps in, shadowing my edges as you pull away, overtaking me when you turn.
I'm not strong enough.

I know it's wrong.
I know my thoughts shouldn't hurt.
I fight them, always.
Sometimes I win. Sometimes I'm just so tired.

Sometimes the best feeling is blank.
Nothingingness is better than being carved like Picasso's sculpture; the blade of memories knows exactly where to slice, again and again.
So many mistakes.
So many wounds inflicted by my own ignorance.
So many wounds to rip open, again and again.

I'm not lost.
I know what's happening here.
Some days I can corner it, cage it in a little box in the bottom of my mind.
Some days I'm too dizzy and I can't find the key.

I need a little help.
Just hold me up.
Don't leave me alone.


~

Some days, I just need to write for catharsis - just get it out, out of my head so it will stop hounding me, stop the darkness from swallowing me.


[Italicized lines from "Wherever you will go" by The Calling.]




Tuesday, September 25, 2012

s is for Sretya


A little over a year ago, I began a new spiritual path with the goddess Sretya. I didn't know much about her at the time. I still don't feel as though I know enough. There's precious little information available online, and less in texts which are available in English, and on amazon. She's one who has been relegated to the dreaded repeating paragraph, much-copied but never cited:

"DOLYA, SRETYA, SRECHA
(doh-lya | sret-yah | srech-ah) goddess of good fortune and luck, bringer of joy and happyness, assistant of the household and welfare goddess Makosh. Sryashta is represented as a gold-curled maiden, who, just like Makosh, often spins golden yarn. Inside it she weaves people's fate or better - the good parts of their fate. Often Sryashta travells around the world and can appear before everybody - once as a girl, once as a boy. She would request a small favour, ask this or that and, if the man is good, helpful and respectful, she gives him good luck. If the man is peppery, unobliging or say bad words for gods, Sryashta turns her face off him and happiness hever comes to such person. Dolya is the East-Slavic variant of South-Slavic Sryashta."

That's one of the more robust versions, which I found here. 

More commonly, this is the precise paragraph I found: 

"Sreća (English: happiness, luck, also spelled Sretya, pronounced "srech-ah") is a Serbian goddess of fate.
She spins the thread of life, as an assistant to the great Goddess Makosh. Her role is the same as the Slavic Goddess Dolya, bringing luck to those Makosh smiles upon, except that she was also responsible for protecting the flocks and fields of farmers. Her name is also seen as Sreca, Sretja, and Sretya."

Yep, good ol' Wikipedia. At least that one cited its source... which didn't have any additional information, nor did it give any indication of its source(s). 

Le sigh.


At times, she seems to be conflated with a Domovoi...

Note where this blogger said Sretya (Dolya) lives. 

"Dolya (pronounced DOLE-yah) is the Slavic Goddess of luck. She is said to live behind the stove in the family home. When she is happy, she appears as a beautiful young maiden and bestows good luck on all the inhabitants of the house." 

To compare: 

"Domovoi
The protector of the house. Every home had its own domovoe who dwelled behind the oven and who might abandon the house if he was not properly honored. The Domovois protected not only the human inhabitants of the house but their herds and household animals as well."

I have to wonder, after seeing these, if Sretya wasn't confused with Domovoi in both where she lived (behind the stove seems like a very unlikely place for such a mobile and happy goddess) and in her domain - note the barely-paraphrased wording describing her protection of farmers' production as repeated in the Domovoi description. 

~

Each of these, trying vainly to be a primary source, fails to cite their sources in any capacity. I'm not even necessarily looking for academic citations, just something  to indicate their legitimacy; even "my grandma told me so" would work. 

~

So here's a little of my own UPG/semi-educated guesses: 

Sretya is life - the nurturing side of fate. She is warm as a sunny day, but though endlessly kind, she does not suffer fools. Her mercy is in leaving, which she will do with a smile on her face, pity in her heart, and a song on her lips. 

She's difficult for me to work with, primarily due to my difficulties with negative thoughts. She's there, smiling at me, but I have trouble letting go of those things which keep me from being happy, and thereby keep me from fully embracing life. Obviously, it's worth the work for me to keep trying. 

I haven't yet found any literature referencing any sort of animal connections with her, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if she were fond of otters, dogs, or songbirds. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

touching Archer

Just the other day, I told my child that sometimes, when you can't think of what to write, the best thing to do is to start talking. Then write down whatever you say. I'm taking my own advice, as I type this, right now.

~

Archer isn't here - but he's always here, his presence is palpable in my heart.
Still, I miss him, and I wish he were home. He has been gone so much lately (for work) that even when he's home, safe and sound in his house, less than 30 miles away from mine, I miss him. Suddenly, 30 miles seems like a very long way.

Time is precious; he always tells me that. His time is so precious, because he rarely spends it on the things he actually wants to spend it on. He would explain it differently, I know. That's my perspective, not his.

I'm coming to realize how precious touch is.

I know, from an academic standpoint, that touch is crucial to the development of infants and children, and for the well-being of people in all age groups. There are enough studies on that to fill a metric ton with citations alone.

Lately, I'm seeing a new aspect of the importance of touch in my own life, and specifically in my relationship with Archer. We've seen each other so little this month; he's been gone so much that I'm realizing how much I depend on being able to touch him. It's actually effecting my cognitive functioning. The other night, I was shopping for the birthday party after my class, and I was so fucking spaced out that I felt high, in a not-good way. It wasn't lack of sleep, or any other affect of physical lack/whatever. I just don't function well without him. That was an extreme example, but the echoes of that same sensation, that same slack in my cognition, have been present to varying degrees during each of his more recent trips. The extreme example just brought that to my attention.

This specific aspect of my depression - the inability to string two thoughts together - is usually an aspect dependent on my mood actually dropping quite low, and that drop happening in conjunction with some sort of panic or fear. It's as though this aspect is happening independently of the noticeable mood drop/fear increase which usually seem to cause it. Perhaps I'm wrong though - perhaps the mood drop is there, at least, and I'm just not acknowledging it. There's a certain emptiness that's not directly tied to his absence. It's the same flavor of emptiness that I've used in the past, to tell myself that the persistently sad feelings I had, were unimportant. As if ignoring them would make them go away. I suppose I thought it did work that way, to an extent. I'm not sure what to do with this information. I need to think about it some more, get Archer's opinion.

~

He comes home the day after tomorrow.
He doesn't need to be picked up,
but I'm meeting him at the airport anyway.
I need him.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

reading the cards

Thinking about something that happened last May... My friend the wandering wisewoman read my cards for me - with my own cards, with which she had zero familiarity. The experience forced me to change my approach to card reading, for the better.

She literally read  the cards, looking into them instead of at them; no recall, just the message itself in the art. She is all intuition, no memorization.

I've always been concerned with remembering what each card is "supposed" to mean, and had missed the point - that each card will tell you what it wants you to know, if you just pay attention.

My approach to card reading has changed, but so has my approach to spirituality. I'm far less worried, these days, about what the stories and lore say about my deities. I'm more prone to listening to the deities themselves. I'm more likely to listen to my own wisdom, as well.

The result? I'm working my way toward Happier.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

leeches

Another VA appointment.

I've noticed that everytime I have to go to the Tucson VA, I end up sitting in the parking lot for at least ten minutes after I leave, just waiting for my nerves to calm enough for me to drive. Maybe it's because they always want to draw blood. Fucking leeches.