in Rwanda: 6 July 2012, camp lunch

Lunchtime, 6 July 2012.

I’m going to be so busy transcribing all my notes into blog posts when I get home. It’s going to be ridiculous. Right now I’m focusing on getting my phone charged, so I can use the camera. I think I may need to remove the battery at night, so it doesn’t die once it’s charged. I had a little better than half the battery when I turned it off yesterday. This morning, when I turned it back on, the battery was so low that it automatically shut itself back off. It must be draining overnight, even though it’s turned off.

Lunch was goat ribs, Spanish rice, mushroom soup, mangoes, pineapple, oranges, beans, and fried potatoes. I don’t eat this well at home. It’s delicious and healthy. Craziness. I’ll be happy when there’s something cold besides water to drink. Oh, and bananas. Getting a little tired of bananas.

There was a hornbill (think Zazu, from the Lion King) in the tree behind us while we ate, but I missed it. Sara and Prof Netzin saw it. Another nearby tree has weaverbird nests. There’s three warthogs (maybe a mother and two offspring, since one is larger than the other two) which we’ve seen both mornings as we left camp, on the road between camp and reception. Later this afternoon, we’re going to see more baboons, we hope. If we can find them. Shouldn’t be too hard though; the troops around here seem fairly predictable, according to the workers here. For now, we’re going to set up the camp shower, and then we’ll have a little presentation on demography and recognizing individuals. Baboons are after that.

Recognition of individuals, and how many individuals members of a species one individual can recall, is a seriously interesting aspect of cognitive ecology. Prof Dieter is saying that humans can recognize and recall about 500 other individuals, and that correlates with the size of most tribes, historically (about 500 people). I wonder how much detail that particular type of recognition entails? Does it vary by gender, on either end? What about by sex?

Speaking of Prof Dieter, he found a baboon skull yesterday:

Freakin awesome.

in Rwanda: 4 July 2012, to Akagera

Today I woke up early to do P90X with Sara, Bernd, and the Professors, changed my $ to Rwandan francs,   traveled to Akagera with everyone, helped set up camp on an escarpment overlooking Lake Ihema, and learned to dance like a Rwandan. I'm feelin' productive. And Archer found me on Google Earth.

[This video is from youtube - it's not mine, nor does it depict anyone I know. 

This is just to show their traditional dancing, which is awesome.]

~

Also, I wrote this today:

Archer & his Bones
Once upon a time...
Two souls collided, and set their worlds aflame. 
Neither knew, neither could, just how much their worlds would change.

in Rwanda: 3 July 2012, schoolwork and shopping

[As part of course, we were assigned journal days - two of the eight students would write a journal entry each day, in a rotation, which meant that I wrote one roughly every fourth day, starting on July 3rd. They're not in my usual tone, being written for an intentionally casual, but still graded, assignment.]

Journal: Tuesday 3 July 2012

Today was the day of Primate Presentations. We each had prepared a powerpoint presentation on a selected primate species. This morning was blocked off for those.

Professor (Netzin) Steklis started by giving us a brief overview of both the course and of primatology. The aims of the course are to develop an understanding of primate socio-ecology, to learn basic field methods, and to have a “global adventure” – or, to learn how to travel globally. There are four themes of primate socio-ecology which we will focus on, and which describe the whole of the topic in a broad sense. These themes are social systems, parenting, cognitive ecology, and commensalism. Later, we will break into pairs, and each pair will focus on one theme. At the end of the course, we will give a presentation on our theme, as a pair.

The primate presentations were presented in the approximate order we could expect to see the species, when we venture out of Kigali and into the parks. There were eight presentations, though one covered 5 species of the same genus, the galagos, which was presented by Grace. In her presentation, there was one slide which I found particularly interesting because it showed a chart of the species’ relative life cycles and sizes. It was a great illustration of the relationship between an animal’s size, and rapidly the animal matures (e.g., smaller animals mature more quickly and often have shorter lives). Though we didn’t get into k-selection versus r-selection, that slide certainly demonstrated the principle.

Another trend we saw in the species was that sexual dimorphism favored the males, in the sense that males were larger (to varying degrees), which is pretty typical in the animal kingdom. It seems that there’s a prosimian (or maybe tarsier) species in which the females are larger, but I can’t recall for sure. Maybe I’m thinking of ring-tailed lemurs, in which the females are dominant (but not larger).

After the presentations, we had a buffet lunch and chose our ‘theme teams.’ Chelsea and I ended up on a team together, focusing on cognitive ecology. Then, we all prepared to meet up to go to the craft and cloth markets. Our favorite guide-extrordinaire, Willy, joined us for our foray into the markets. It was our last chance to hang out with him before his trip to London. He’s on his way to collect an award for a video he did of a famous break dancer (Pervez), who came to the orphanage here and taught the kids how to break dance. Willy’s the kind of person who instantly imbues a feeling of confidence in his associates; he’s very bright but utterly lacks pretension. Basically, he’s the kind of person everybody wants to hang out with. We’ll see him again before we leave Rwanda at the end of this month, if we’re lucky.

Willy’s help in the markets certainly saved us some serious francs. In my case, he bartered a Congolese malachite chess set and a piece of Rwandan amethyst down from 47,000 francs, to 38,000, and convinced the guy to take payment partially in Euros, and partially in Rwandan francs. He really was great. Unfortunately, by the time we got to the cloth market, it was getting late and it was already dark. We didn’t stay there long, just long enough to see a few shops so everyone could get a piece of cloth (or a picture of a one) for our primate socio-ecology presentations. (We were to chose cloth that was symbolic of our theme. Chelsea and I were lucky to find a good one in the first shop. The cloth we chose is orange and blue, and its pattern looks like bridges – perfect for a theme that examines how primates solve problems they encounter in their environments.)

 Interestingly, the more time I spend here, the more my Arabic comes back to me. It’s strange because that language is spoken by only a small fraction of the population here – and I haven’t heard any of it. I’m working on my French, with some difficulty despite having been once quite fluent, but the Arabic is coming back unbidden, despite never having more than a rudimentary understanding of it. Ma’arf.

[Pictures from our hotel's garden. We stayed at Chez Lando Hotel.]

Just some additional notes for ye olde blogge today...

1. If you mix Pink Lemonade flavored Emergen-C with Tangerine flavored Emergen-C, you get something that closely resembles the unembalmed ghost of tangerine lemonade. I don't recommend drinking it if you're still among the living.

2. Maya, one of the other students on this trip, reminds me of Ducky, from the original Land Before Time movie. It's a good thing. She's exuberant, and can't say "scrotum" without getting ridiculously embarrassed (even as a primatology student giving a presentation on a species of monkeys - Vervets - in which the males have blue scrotums). Earmuffs, Maya!

3. If you chart the life stages of 5 galago species, as Grace (another student) did, you get a great illustration of how smaller body size correlates with quicker growth. Cool. I love fractal patterns in biology.

in Rwanda: 2 July 2012, the Rwandan Genocide Memorial

July 4th is a holiday in Rwanda, too.
As is July 1st.

The 1st is their Independence Day, from Belgian colonial rule.
It's a day of celebration.
The 4th is their Liberation Day, from the mass murder they experienced during the Rwandan Genocide, 18 years ago.
It's a day of silence.

On 2 July 2012, our group of eight primatology students, two professors, and one professors' son, visited the Kigali Genocide Memorial. It was more than educational, more than moving. It stilled me. It frustrated me.

These things - these thoughts, these feelings instigated by our visit to the Memorial, this information... they go to a place in me that's already dead. I shut down emotionally, and cannot feel anything but bone-weary and blank.

pas oubliette

I've had to change my domain name. I hope those who follow me, still can.

travel notes: from here to there

[These are not excerpts; this was a running journal I scribbled some notes into on my way from Arizona, USA, to Kigali, Rwanda. My flight took me from Tucson, AZ, to Houston, TX (where I bought a rockin plug adapter/USB plug-in from a vending machine for $30), to Montreal, then Brussels, then Kigali. I ended up with an overnight stay in Brussels which turned out to be awesome. My connecting flight from Brussels to Kigali was cancelled because they needed a new engine for the plane (not news that inspired hope). But, it was cool because one of the other students was on the same flight, so we caught a cab together and kicked around Brussels for a bit. Turns out, it doesn't get dark there til after 10 pm. Or at least it doesn't in late June. Anyway, got to see some really awesome architecture, spent way too many euros on a Belgian waffle, and generally enjoyed the unexpected tourist opportunity. The only crappy part, besides just being delayed, was having to wait in line for what felt like four hours (in reality, maybe three) to get instructions and vouchers from the airline. Anyway, here's some stream-of-conscious notes from that journey.]

So cool hearing French being spoken everywhere... and my passport just got it's first stamp :)

Got so sick during descent into Montreal, almost actually vomited... neighbors are lucky we touched down when we did.

I'm pretty sure I eat my sushi too fast. less than 5 minutes for a 5-piece sushi dish negates the need to do such eating in a restaurant. You wouldn't be there long enough to make it worth while. Might as well have gotten it to go. 

Americans (other English-speakers?) pronounce our words like they are coolly-molten lead; French-speakers sound like the words are fluttering out their mouths, like they are physically feather-weight. Now I know what "gutteral" means.

I'm in Brussels, it's 1am in AZ right now. Missing Archer. Kills me that I can't call him right now. My phone isn't even finding signal here. Jumped on their WiFi for email. Love you baby... Keep thinking about touching you... <3

  

Brussels. I think this line has gotten shorter because it has condensed, not because anybody left the line. Maybe our stagnation has been overwhelmed by the human need to move, thus we get closer, moving forward individually without progressing the line.

I will get blisters from standing in line here, not from walking anywhere.

I am HUNGRY. I don't want this deli shit, I want steak and eggs. Not gonna get it.

Stuck. 

I want my Archer.

I shouldn't have had such wistful thoughts of a longer layover between the long flights [Montreal to Brussels, and Brussels to Kigali were both quite long, and my original layover was only an hour or so.] - I got it. Would been a good time for an 'unanswered prayer,' ya know. Just sayin. 

Time to check on the hotel...

Feels like I'm surrounded by Archer here, which is a bit silly. He hasn't lived here in... how long? I didn't even know him then. Still, I look around my hotel room, and around this city, and think, "he saw this, too. I wonder if he liked the architecture here as much as I do." I feel like he should be here, telling me stories of his time there, telling me tales of the city. Another time, maybe. 

The best thing that can be said about the dawn here is that it is gentle, kind - anything but bold or spectacular. It is barely noticeable, almost just a lightening of the skies, as though afraid to wake the sleepers it watches over.

What the hell is all this tomato relish Starbucks is putting all over their sandwiches here? The closest I could find to a decent breakfast in this airport is a panini with eggs, bacon, and... tomato relish. And tomato slices. Did I mention how much I dislike gratuitous use of tomatoes? Sigh. At least it has bacon. And it's not horrible, just weird. 

My mind is pretty wide awake, but I think my body is exhausted. My right hand isn't working all that well, or reliably. It's usually the first to go. 

I just saw my first fly since leaving Tucson. It was very small. 

I wonder about the people here. - Where they're from, where they're going, what they think of me. 

My body feels hollowed out. Or hollowing out. I think I need to sleep soon. It's 0425 in AZ right now. 0425 in Archer's arms, in his bed where he's sleeping, looking just like the Angel he is. Dreaming of trains, I hope. 

2 July, Kigali - lack of internet might kill me.

 



[I did manage to take a few pictures of what is apparently Brussels' best feature: the architecture. Incidentally, I'm pretty proud of my little camera phone. I think it did alright, under the circumstances.]

homecoming

From Rwanda, back to real life? 


What does that even mean?
It felt so surreal leaving home, and now it feels like I'm leaving home, but going back to my family. I wish I could stay, and bring my family here with me.
This place has its own happiness, its own peace, its own reality. Being here, we were "disconnected" by the rarity of internet, smart phones, and first-world amenities, but I have never felt so connected to life. This place made me want to do more. It made me want to move my body and my mind in new directions every morning. I woke up early because I didn't want to be asleep. Always, sleep has been preferable to wakefulness. Sleep has been coveted. Here, it was an unfortunate necessity. I want to go places. I want to come back to this state, wherever I can find it.

[the above was written in the airport in Kigali, Rwanda]

~


She's not weak, she's just fragile.


I'm no good at coming home.

I'm distant, cold. Prone to spending time alone, when my family and loved ones want to see me, to spend time with me.

It's my defense, when my self-control is thin, but I have never told them that. I'd like to. I'd like to know how to be understood.

Coming home is not exciting for me. Coming home hurts.
I'm so very fragile in that time, those days or weeks following my arrival. I don't know why.

I might not have made it this time, if it weren't for Archer's stoic support.

~

But, I'm happy to be back to blogging. Really. I didn't write (for myself) for the first week or so of my stay in Rwanda. Too much going on, not enough time, then no electricity for the laptop once we started camping. I did write some journal entries as part of the class assignment - which I will post, later - but I wasn't writing for myself. I wasn't blogging. And, I realized (after an incident, which I'll describe later) that I need to do this. It helps me retain control of my mind. So really, I'm happy to be blogging again.

After that incident, I began blogging again. I just wasn't able to post anything because of the general lack of internet access there. Now that I'm home, I want to post those entries. However, I'm not going to bog down my page with a month's worth of blog posts in one day. So I'll post them gradually. You'll see, if you're following me. It'll make sense. I think. There will be pictures. And videos of gorillas. Promise.

~

I'm almost out of energy for today.