Sunday, June 10, 2012

recognizing where I am

This morning I was at a local breakfast spot with the Amazing Archer, waiting for our food to come... Archer was busy reading the Adam Yauch article in my Rolling Stone magazine, and I had forgotten to bring any reading material of my own. So I pulled my oracle cards out of my purse (where they live) and thought, well, let's see what they want to tell me today. I shuffled and dealt with no particular question in mind. Usually when I do that I get a response which describes the over-arching dynamic shaping my life at that time, and that's exactly what happened this morning. Of course, I was with Archer at the time, watching his intensity, humor, and curiosity, all honing in on the article he was reading; his is a beautiful mind. So although I asked a general question, the focus on my relationship with Archer that you'll notice in the response I got, isn't surprising in the least.

I typically do a three-card spread. I think I've mentioned this before...? Maybe not. The first card is the instigator - it represents the instigating force or factor in the questioned situation. The second card is the emotional manifestation of the situation, and the third card is the physical, or concrete, manifestation. 

Here's what I drew today:

1 - the Goose
2 - the Water Dragon
3 - the Dog

The Water Dragon! Can you believe that? I was just researching that the other day... (check out the last part of this post).

Anyway, let's start with the Goose, since that's where the cards started. Geese are interesting animals, as they represent a set of behaviors which might seem dichotomous at first glance. They symbolize devotion to family and marriage, and great journeys. For many, family is linked to home, so great journeys might seem incompatible with devoting oneself to family. In geese, though, we see a different perspective on the purpose of families. Geese mate for life (unlike the average human), and are fiercely devoted to their mates and offspring. They're also migratory birds. So how do we translate this to a human lesson, when we experience various levels of devotion and generally do not participate in regular migrations (though some do)? My book - the one that came with the cards - offers this: the Goose is a lesson in understanding that a strong family or a strong familial partnership can provide the strength one needs to be capable of undergoing a strenuous spiritual journey. - Keep that in mind.

The Water Dragon is a powerful animal; it shows us the depths of our spiritual and emotional selves, and for me, serves as a reminder of the strength of hidden memories. It also reminds me that I must work through those memories, despite the difficulty of doing so. The toxic old memories, long harbored somewhere in my skull, have a strength of their own, and are capable of overpowering me, causing me to act, sub-consciously (though not entirely unconsciously - that's a long post all on its own, for another time), in ways that are harmful to my soul, and to the people around me. I must bleed the poison from those wounds - and I'm doing so, slowly, and as fast as I can. Something in my hasn't allowed me to go too fast; maybe it's the same block that kept it all hidden away for so long. Maybe it's just reluctant to crumble. Maybe some wiser corner of my mind knows I can't handle too much at once. Better to go little by little - so that's what I do. I'm pretty happy with my progress, overall. - It's a great journey, one I couldn't have even started without Archer's influence, and couldn't have kept at pace, without his continuous and selfless support. (Remember the Geese?)

The Dog is a symbol of loyalty and companionship; sometimes the Dog is a suggestion to question who you put your loyalty into, and sometimes to question whether you are rewarding the loyalty being shown to you. The Dog is also a guide, and helps us through a difficult journey, if loyalties are given and taken as they should be. This is the concrete manifestation of that which was instigated by card number one - the Goose.

Here's the take-away: In basing myself firmly in a strong romantic/familial partnership, I have gained the strength I need and the guidance I need to be able to make this great but difficult journey, the journey of self-understanding; staying on this path - in this relationship, with this level of dedication - I will find my way back to myself, and find the way to take my power back from my memories.


Did I know this already?

Well yeah. But it's good to be reminded, and to be reminded to recognize these things as the miracles they are. It reinforces my certainty, which is never a bad thing.

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